Surviving your first Festive Season as an expat - by Carol Yan

Nov 27

Written By Carol Yan | Counselling Psychologist

I remember my first Christmas away from home like it was yesterday.

It was December 24, 2021, my husband and I were sitting pretty in our wonderful new canal side home in The Netherlands. We watched the boats go by, not-so-secretly hoping for snow - snow dances and all! Enjoying the warmth of our gas fueled heaters, the outside air was crisp and we were wearing our matching Christmas PJs, our fridge filled with all the goodies for Christmas lunch. How picture perfect!

Coming from South Africa, I had never experienced a winter Christmas before, so naturally, the excitement was there! Yet there was also an immense feeling of emptiness - the first Christmas not spent with family or friends back home, just us two.

Christmas time has a unique magic about it - whether it be the lights & decorations, precious time spent with family or the nostalgia for our youth when we left milk and cookies out for Santa. It’s a special time of year - definitely my favourite! For these reasons, it’s also arguably the hardest time of year to be away from our loved ones, especially if you are living on the other side of the world.

If you are spending your first Christmas abroad, it can be a lonely time, especially if you don’t know many people yet. At the same time, you will be surprised how many people are in the same position as you! I was there! Indeed this was a tough day but it was also so unique and wonderful! Here are a few tips on how I survived my first Christmas as an expat:

Embrace the weirdness and start your own traditions: This is an opportunity to learn more about the festive season culture in your new home and bring it into your own life experiences as the years go by. Embracing and experiencing the authentic traditions in your new country can be so exciting and enlightening!

Celebrating with other expats and accepting kindness from others: Even if it is not on Christmas Day - perhaps a FRIENDSMAS or EXPATMAS can be lovely. To make you feel a little bit more at home and to soften the blow about how far away you are, it can be very beneficial to find like-minded expats to be around. Why not celebrate your achievements and bravery for exploring outside of your comfort zones? Expat centres and online social groups are full of information for these get-togethers. Giive it a go!

Requesting / finding food from home: Another comforting way to feel at home whilst living abroad on your own is enjoying familiar foods. Food is such a big part of Christmas and bringing everyone together. There’s always an abundance! With drinks on tap too! If at all possible, ask family and friends to send a small part of home over or - if you’re lucky like me- find an expat shop which stocks your favourite home comforts! For me, it’s the fizzers, fizz pops, and biltong!

Get your thoughts, feelings and lessons learnt out to the world: It is a hard time! Reach out for support and share! Whether that is with your family and friends back home or perhaps starting a blog - you never know who may be reading too, a fellow expat who may be in the same position as you! Isolation only magnifies and makes things feel so much harder.

Travel somewhere new: Explore a new city, explore a new country! Explore, explore, explore! Each corner of the globe sets up and celebrates the festive season in such different ways. It can be a magical adventure and learning experience to be had on a solo trip or with your newly made expat friends! It’s a wonderful chance to explore markets, events, and the different city decorations!

Contacting your people back home: The beauty of the modern age means that we can speak to our loved ones, even when we are on the other side of the world. Organise with your family and friends beforehand to avoid any time difference difficulties. Even though you are far away, it doesn’t mean you cannot share the magic with your family and friends back home.

Will you be celebrating your first expat Christmas this year? Or can you remember your first Christmas away from home?

Life as an expat is challenging especially during such a special time. I found that adopting a growth mindset and approaching the festive season how I wanted to, really kept the magic of the season and brought in different and unique memories to be cherished. At the same time, having patience and empathy for yourself, taking it one day at a time, and reaching out does make a world of a difference!

However you choose to celebrate, have I wish a happy, merry, blessed festive season to you all.

Carol

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Carol Yan

Carol Yan | Counselling Psychologist

Carol Yan is a Counselling Psychologist practicing from the Satori Health Centre. She practices online.
She is a South African expat who moved to The Netherlands as a trailing spouse in 2021. With this new adventure her practice moved exclusively online and she works with clients across the globe. She is passionate about assisting third culture kids, as well as adult individuals and couples within expat or international communities. She also uses brain-based and somatic techniques to assist after traumatic experiences.

https://www.carolyanpsychology.com/

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